Normally speaking, I don't tend to show my inner frustrations, but since you cannot always be a sweet little angel, I decided that I would do it a little different today. I wrote down 10 things that really get my goat, including a beatiful range of cursing and grumpyness. Enjoy!
- When people cross the road without looking. Okay, it's left, right and then left again before you cross the road. Not setting your foot in front of where I'm driving or riding my bicycle and getting shocked when I'm almost driving you over. The only way to make it right is saying sorry for scaring both me and yourself and just help yourself remember: left, right and then left again before crossing the damn road.
- When people are being rude to others just because they feel bad themselves. Especially people working in stores get the full loath of this. No, I can't magically make that one product appear in the store, shit get's sold out sometimes, happens to the best of us. I apologized for not having the product, so take your shitty attitude with you and let me do my fucking job, thank you.
- When parents can't handle their children and take them to public places. Well, maybe you shouldn't bring your shitty kid to a restaurant if you can't handle the damn child when it's upset or you don't correct your child when it's tormenting the damn place. My ears thank you.
- When people try to get down to my height. Look, I know that I'm short, but talking to me like I'm a fucking three year old won't make it any easier. So, please just stand up straight, talk to me as if I'm your average person and don't even think about making any comment whatsoever about my height. Thank you.
- When people don't listen after they've asked you a question. Really? You took time to come up with a question, opened your mouth to ask that question and then proceeded not to listen to the answer? I put my magnificent grey mass to work, came up with an incredibly detailed and useful answer (exeggeration of course) and you won't take time to listen to the damn answer to the question you asked less then a fucking minute ago. Shame on you.
- When people try to be funny, when they are not. Ha ha sir! Oh splendid! Let me show you the fake laugh I showed at all 1000 of the other occasions where I have heard this joke! Ha ha ha and now shut your mouth please and never tell the damn "joke" again. Thanks.
- When people move my stuff. Like oh my god you basterd! I gave my pencil case the perfect position on my desk and you have the nerve to move it! I'm warning you just this once, do it again and my inner hulk will come out and crush you! p.s. Yes, I exeggerate at times.
- When people try to accuse you of something they've done. I don't look like a fucking goat to you, now do I? So why the fuck do I have to be your scapegoat. I didn't do anything to hurt you, but men you can be damn sure that I will fucking haunt you after I die for making people believe that I did that fucking thing you did.
- When cashiers aren't nice to you. I don't care how much you dislike your minimum wage job, but at least put a fucking smile on your face. You chose to be a cashier, you applied for the damn job, so do your job properly. And just so you know, I'm a cashier myself and I smile the entire time I'm talking to customers, even if they are being rude, because that is what a cashier is supposed to do. Period.
- When people talk bashful about people they don't even know. "Yeah, I hate that *insert name celebrity* he's so stupid". Do you even know what you're talking about? You don't even know the person, how can you possibly hate him? Because you like country and he does Hip Hop? Is that it? If so, you have some very low standards.
Reading through this makes me feel like a lot of things get my goat, but in all reallity, it took me 4 months to come up with all 10 of these. To be fair, this was meant to get some of my inner sarcasm off my chest rather than anger. Sometimes writing like this is just what I need to get my inner zen back, and I hope you liked it. My sarcasm is very Dutch and therefore harsh, so keep in mind that this might come across more impetuous than it's actually meant. But other than that, I would love to know what gets your goat. :)
♥ Love, Vivian
