Why People Care So Much (About Other People's Thoughts) pt. 1

Hey Sexy Salamanders!

Since I’m at the start of an hour long trip in the train to my father, I thought it would be time to make another random – type of post. I wanted to know why people care so much about other people’s thoughts. I mean why are we so frightened to do certain things because we believe other people will have certain thoughts about it? 

 I’ve decided give you  an example for my problem with one of my all-time loves. It is something I’m almost addicted to and I will not stop doing it, unless I’m physically not able to do it anymore. The thing I’m talking about here is running. I love running and I love calling myself a runner. I can run about 6 miles, but the thing is, that I’m usually too scared to go and run outside. A couple years ago my mum bought a treadmill and she thought she was going to use it a lot. Well, she didn’t and still doesn’t. I started using it about 6 months back though. But in order to run marathons I have to go outside for running. The sad thing is that I only dare to run outside when I’m staying over at my dad’s place. Only because no one knows me there. The only time I went running at my mom’s place was on a Tuesday at 5 o’clock(!!) in the morning so no one would see me. It’s that extreme. What makes is even sadder is that I love running outside. It feels so much better than running on a treadmill. I also give myself excuses for not running outside. Like it’s too cold or I’ll run outside when I get better. Because I’m so sick of this, I decided to do some research on why people care so much about what other people think, or might think.

The main reason I found was that it’s in our nature. We are social animals. When we grow up we learn what is “acceptable” behavior. People don’t often don’t deviate from what they’ve learned or are scared to do that.

Another reason I found is that we feel the need to gain approval and/or praise. We don’t want to be lonely and one of the ways people try to avoid that is people pleasing. Keep in mind that it doesn’t always make you happy. People pleasing often results in acting like someone you’re not and that makes a person feel unhappy.

We are also afraid to change and/or to do certain things because we fear what MIGHT/MAY happen. When I think about running outside, I immediately start reckoning what could happen. My emotional mind says: “what if I come across someone I know and they see my red and sweaty face? Would they laugh and confront me with it next time they see me?”  While my rational mind answers: “of course not, you fool. What reason would they have to do that. The only thing they notice is the fact that they know you, that you’re running and working hard. The only thing they would probably do is wave. Big deal, viv.”

Still is my rational mind stupid enough to lose it from my emotional mind set. I’m having a phony laugh at the moment. It’s not funny at all but it feels quite laughable how pathetic these inner thoughts are.

I think that a big part of caring less about what people think is finding out the reasons you’re scared so much and changing them little by little. I’ll give you some tips in the very near future, I promise! But for now I’ll leave you with some quotes about caring and insecurities.

Love, Vivian