I procrastinate

I procrastinate. 

Yup, there I said it. I procrastinate and I hate it. I already see people saying: “then why don’t you just do thing? It’s easy right?”. Well, no, it’s not. I used to think I started procrastinating when I got into high school, but when I look back I know that I did this all of my life. And trust me it’s not easy to just turn something you did your entire life around. 

I’m almost 16, why can’t I just do the things I want and need to do? I mean as an example: I planned to spend my vacation (7 weeks) on writing blog posts so I could spend more time on school. There’s less than 3 weeks left and this is the first article I’m writing. I should’ve called my blog: The procrastinator. So that everyone would know that I’m a terrible blogger (or basically a terrible worker). And it’s not the job itself but getting started. And don’t get me wrong, I love blogging but as soon as I tell myself: write this article, I don’t. 

 I never ever completed a single to-do list. Are the tasks too hard or did you put to many on the to-do list? Nope, my brain just says:  “later”.  And I’m stupid and not disciplined enough to tell my brain: “but I want to do it. I need to do it and I’m going to do it”. Brain wins the fight. 

Before I knew that it was procrastination I thought I had the fear of failure. And as soon as I started thinking I had the fear of failure my brain was like: “you are afraid of tests and doing normal things like calling people, I didn’t know that before!” . And now I also have fear of failure. Congrats Vivian!

And now I’m starting to notice: I talk about my brain as if it’s a different person, while in fact it’s me. Why do I do that? It’s just part of the problem I guess. 

I have so many tips on how to stop procrastinating but up till now I haven’t used them correctly or something. So I’m going to throw myself on the nearest object and sob like a Disney princess and after that I might post this on my blog.

♥ Love, Vivian